Growing Weary

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2 Thessalonians 3:13

But as for you, brethren, do not grow weary in doing good

Galatians 5:17

For the flesh lusts against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; and these are contrary to one another, so that you do not do the things that you wish.

I remember in 2016 when the Lord began calling me to the ministry. I didn’t know what it meant, I didn’t believe I was qualified but I knew one thing: for the first time in my life, God was real. Not only that but He loves me, little ol’, imperfect me. He chose me purposely to fulfill His will on earth. I gave the Lord my yes under one condition…

I was in my small bedroom in an (overpriced) apartment in Atlanta balling my eyes out after collapsing in my shower from being high off of drugs and I cried out to the Lord for the first time in a long time. I remember praying for a very long time, not knowing if I was going to make it through my high, and then He spoke to me about my purpose and gave me clear instructions about what to do next. I sobered up immediately and for the first time in a long time I heard God’s voice as if He was standing right next to me. He called me to teach others about Him and what a relationship with the Living God TRULY looks like and I felt so under-qualified. The only scripture I knew was John 3:16 and at the time I didn’t believe that was enough to bring anyone to salvation (I found out later that was a lie!) Not only did He call me to teach but He told me that I would travel the world, specifically to Latin countries, and preach the gospel, and who would’ve known two years later that’s exactly what I’d be doing! But before knowing the scriptures by heart and before the mission trip, it was just me, God, and a conversation.

I said, “Lord, I’ll do whatever you want me to do! Just make this stop!” I remember thinking, “I’ll teach, if you want me to teach. I’ll preach, if you want me preach. Under ONE condition…make me a honest minister.”

Here I am four years later committed to this love story with God with a love language stronger now than I had then, more wisdom than I had then, and more spiritual revelation than I had then. Only now…I’ve grown so tired. I love the Lord and everyone knows that. I love the word of God and everyone knows that too. But what most people may not know is that I grow tired. I was crying out to the Lord in my bed one night and I said something like this:

“Lord, I am so tired. I’m so tired of the scriptures. I’m so tired of the songs. I’m so tired of people trying to tell me what to do. I’m so tired of going to church. I’m so tired of encouraging others. I am so so tired…and I know it’s not your fault but that’s just how I feel. I know that I still love you but that’s just how I feel. I don’t want to read another scripture, I don’t want to sing another song, I just want to go home…Please take me away from here. Take me home, take me to Heaven. I am so tired of this earth.”

The ranting went on and on before I finally had to snap out of it and get my flesh back in order. I remember that next day driving past a church sign that read, “Don’t grow weary of doing good.” It was as if the Lord stuck a dagger right into my heart and I became grieved. Just like when Job cried out in distress and anger, yet didn’t sin, so did I. I realized that it’s not a sin to be angry, it’s not a sin to be stressed or frustrated; and it’s not a sin to cry out to the Lord. But the Lord encouraged me to not give up. He reminded me that I still have a purpose and I have a race to complete.

Let me tell you how my rant ended:

“…But Lord, nevertheless, not as I will but as you will. It’s better that I stay here so that others may know you…”

I want to encourage you not to grow in weariness. Don’t get tired of doing the right thing. Don’t get tired of doing what God tells you to do because He loves you, wants to protect you, and wants to prosper you. Your flesh (your body) and your soul (your emotions) will try and get the best of you and remind you that you’re only human and that you can’t do this thing called life but the Greater One lives in your spirit and He can do all things! Every trial and tribulation that you face is already defeated in Jesus Name. The mountain your facing is already cast into the sea by faith, in Jesus Name. Those thoughts that keep you up at night have been taken captive, in Jesus Name. What Jesus does for you now was already accomplished on the cross. There’s no need to grow in weariness. Your battle is won.

Jesus says this, “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart; and you will find rest for your souls.” (Matt. 11:29)

What He means is this, “Let me handle this because I already handled it [on the cross]. Rest in Me. Trust that I did exactly what I said I was going to do, by faith.”

When your flesh cries out like mine did, put it in it’s place! Remind your body and mind that all of the obstacles you face have been defeated on the cross. Remind yourself that the weapons formed against you will NEVER prosper. Whatever you place in God’s hands, leave it there. Don’t become worn down by challenges that don’t belong to you. Your battles belong to the Lord, let Him have them and rest.

5 Comments Add yours

    1. carlyogletree1 says:

      I appreciate that!

      Like

  1. Always love to see the faith.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. carlyogletree1 says:

      I appreciate that, thank you!

      Like

      1. Gratitude is unnecessary young lady, keep up the good work

        Like

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